Living with Social Anxiety
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America social anxiety disorder is defined as "the extreme fear of being scrutinized and judged by others in social or performance situations. Symptoms may be so extreme that they disrupt daily life. People with this disorder, also called social phobia, may have few or no social or romantic relationships, making them feel powerless, alone, or even ashamed."
I have always been a shy and introverted person, but the social anxiety started sometime around age 8. After my parents divorced and I went to live with my dad, I went from a long haired talented and gifted student to a short haired girl (via an unwelcome hair cut) my new school system was trying to put back one grade. I had lost all my friends, my own bedroom and my mom in one fell swoop. Being shy made it difficult to make new friends and with my new school trying to put me back a grade I felt stupid, scared and alone. So began my lifelong battle with social anxiety.
Recently I completed the Duke University Social Phobia Inventory (SPIN) assessment, a survey that has been clinically validated as a measure of social anxiety and scored a 65 which qualifies me as having severe social anxiety. According to the test, my biggest factor is social inadequacy wherein I struggle the most with social interactions like talking to strangers or going to to a party. This is very true as I prefer for people to think I'm distant and reserved than get to know me and think I'm strange or obnoxious.
I do not like being out in public in particular in crowded spaces. Places like grocery stores and concerts send my anxiety into overdrive. I feel like people are watching me, judging me. The tighter packed the people, the worse I feel. My heart is racing, my hands are shaking and sweating, I feel like I can't breathe. I'll twist my hair over and over trying to get rid of the anxiety. The feeling distresses me and I often have to fight back tears. If I'm alone I'll try to leave the situation as quickly as possible. Avoiding situations is just easier than trying to fight through it.
Social anxiety has kept me from learning to drive a car. The noise and movement and being judged for how well or how poorly I move in and out of traffic is too overwhelming. Driving lessons have left me severely distressed and miserable. I frequently returned from lessons in tears until I couldn't take the anxiety anymore.
Currently I take a supplement for my anxiety which helps a little, but the biggest help usually is being in contact with someone who knows how to keep me calm. I have learned to text my friend when I'm severely anxious and they know what to say to get me to breathe and relax even if it's just enough to finish shopping. When I am with them and I start to feel the anxiety build I reach and tap their hand which snaps me back to reality to remind me I'm not alone and I'm okay. It is a simple solution but one that works for me. At some point I may have to do more to overcome the worst of my anxiety, but for now I have learned to live with it the best I can.
I have always been a shy and introverted person, but the social anxiety started sometime around age 8. After my parents divorced and I went to live with my dad, I went from a long haired talented and gifted student to a short haired girl (via an unwelcome hair cut) my new school system was trying to put back one grade. I had lost all my friends, my own bedroom and my mom in one fell swoop. Being shy made it difficult to make new friends and with my new school trying to put me back a grade I felt stupid, scared and alone. So began my lifelong battle with social anxiety.
Recently I completed the Duke University Social Phobia Inventory (SPIN) assessment, a survey that has been clinically validated as a measure of social anxiety and scored a 65 which qualifies me as having severe social anxiety. According to the test, my biggest factor is social inadequacy wherein I struggle the most with social interactions like talking to strangers or going to to a party. This is very true as I prefer for people to think I'm distant and reserved than get to know me and think I'm strange or obnoxious.
I do not like being out in public in particular in crowded spaces. Places like grocery stores and concerts send my anxiety into overdrive. I feel like people are watching me, judging me. The tighter packed the people, the worse I feel. My heart is racing, my hands are shaking and sweating, I feel like I can't breathe. I'll twist my hair over and over trying to get rid of the anxiety. The feeling distresses me and I often have to fight back tears. If I'm alone I'll try to leave the situation as quickly as possible. Avoiding situations is just easier than trying to fight through it.
Social anxiety has kept me from learning to drive a car. The noise and movement and being judged for how well or how poorly I move in and out of traffic is too overwhelming. Driving lessons have left me severely distressed and miserable. I frequently returned from lessons in tears until I couldn't take the anxiety anymore.
Currently I take a supplement for my anxiety which helps a little, but the biggest help usually is being in contact with someone who knows how to keep me calm. I have learned to text my friend when I'm severely anxious and they know what to say to get me to breathe and relax even if it's just enough to finish shopping. When I am with them and I start to feel the anxiety build I reach and tap their hand which snaps me back to reality to remind me I'm not alone and I'm okay. It is a simple solution but one that works for me. At some point I may have to do more to overcome the worst of my anxiety, but for now I have learned to live with it the best I can.
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